Beyond F*cking Kidding…

Stuck in his dead end job at the Empornium, our protagonist Rob doesn’t really have much going for him. Sick of pedaling dildos and getting harassed by geriatric protestors on the reg, he decides to make a career change. Now we’ve all experienced nerves during a job interview, it’s completely natural. Unless you’ve worked at a sex shop. Those nerves are multiplied tenfold! For me, I wore it as a badge in honor. A tribute to the three years of absolute hormone fueled madness I thrived in. For Rob though it was shameful, so when questioned about the big gap in his resume, he experienced a bit of word vomit.

He regurgitated a lie. Not just any lie, a son. As soon as Brodie was born inside his mind, it just took off. When his ‘pride and joy’ is invited to a play date, Rob is trapped in his paternal web of lies and again experiences some verbal diarrhea. His make believe son was missing! Panic ensues and at this point the lie takes on a life of it’s own. Rob is torn between his guilt and his love for the attention he was finally receiving. When Brodie is found alive and well, everything he has ever known is called into question.

“And there are clues from the sex shop days, I’m sure of it!” I’ve found myself making the same remark about my life on a regular basis. I’m not sure how sex shops operate in the UK, but here in Canada it’s like an everyday thing. Big open windows, bright cheerful store. The diversity of the clientele would surprise you! My favourite being the 96 year old beauty named ‘Moonchild’ (not really, but it was close). I taught her how to send her 84 year old boyfriend naughty photos. Or the pretend Russian child bride who would try on lingerie and walk around the store with her boobs flapping around. I’ve been seduced by the devil himself and broken his beastly heart… Ah the sex shop was the darkest bit of light in my life.

This book had me yelling ‘you’ve gotta be f*cking kidding me!’ and laughing so hard I almost peed my pants. It was like watching a magic show unfold. You guys really need to read it and let me know what you think!

★★★★★

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