Why should I fear death? If I am, then Death is not. If Death is, then I am not. Why should I fear that which can only exist when I do not?
The mentality of a drug addict. A morbid love affair with your own mortality. Some would say the closer to death, the higher the high.. and the scariest part? Starving for it.. That desperate feeling when you see those around you losing their minds, knowing you’re not too far behind yet you keep lying to yourself. A slave to your next fix, endlessly consuming. Pockmarked skin, red and raw from digging aphids from your crawling flesh. Stalking around in the middle of the night with a gun. Paranoid.
The government is poisoning the water supply…
The bugs crawling up my legs. I kept catching myself trying to brush big brother bug from my hair. Damn you dirty Dick, you kinky freak mother bastard, for giving me paranoid flashbacks from my time with a Fabin character of my own..
*Fresh out of high school, I fell into the wrong crowd. I was a super naive kid, always tried to believe people were generally good. Ended up dating this man, let’s call him “Jeremy” and we would smoke a bunch of weed and go skiing all the time. Well most of the snow had blown away and he showed me a cool way to make what little we had left, last. While I spent the rest of my night torn between chain smoking, sitting on the couch watching TV and watching the show unfold around me, he spent the night upending furniture looking for mice, bench pressing the fridge or standing on his balcony with a golf club trying to scare off the people breaking into my car. I could feel his paranoia dragging me in but my logical brain was having none of it. I ended up falling asleep and when I woke up in the morning my car was gone! Maybe someone really had stolen it last night?! We weren’t in the nicest neighbourhood.. I’m in full blown panic when I realize that my keys are gone along with the meathead I probably shouldn’t be dating anymore.. and that’s the story about how I smoked crack once on accident..*
The moral of the story there is, drugs fuck you up and really do turn your brain to mush. Lapses of memory. Long nights talking about the existence of God. Is he an alien? Unless you’ve read A Scanner Darkly or have experienced crazy drug binges it may be a bit difficult to follow along down this rabbit hole. Climb aboard my pink elephant and enjoy the ride.
Would you enter into another dimension if a doorway appeared to you..
We are exchanging too much passive life for the reality outside us..
Time is round and we are all stuck in its infinite loop of dead energy..
It was all a set up..
If you suffer from addiction, please seek help. I’m always here to listen and offer support if you need a push @getstuffdreviews
*no actual drugs were used in the making of this post*